the impact it has made on my life is far from over. I can honestly say that my mission opened my eyes, and helped me to recognize my role in our Father in Heaven's work. In the Doctrine in Covenants section four it states: "Therefore, if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work;" I recognized over the course of my mission that I have been called to be an instrument in our Father's hands... not just for 18 months, but for my whole life. This has led to a lot of reflection over the last couple of weeks since I have returned home. As a missionary I spent 24/7 walking on the streets and talking to people about our savior Jesus Christ. It was the most demanding work of my life and I loved it. It tore me down, it brought me to the point that I was raw. It was the most vulnerable I have ever been, and yet it was a good thing. I was raw in a way that allowed me to overlook myself and turn to my savior in order to see the need of those around me. I allowed our savior to guide me, mold me, and use me in whatever way he needed in order to reach out to those around me. The Lord truly protected me in my travels, and He led me to those that needed Him most at that time. Since coming home, I have been struggling to find a way to continue to see how I can be apart of this work that I have been called to.
A few nights ago, when I was calling upon the Lord I felt very strongly that my mission has not ended, but the method in which the Lord will use me has changed. I felt that I needed to continue using this blog as a way to share the Good word of our Lord and Savior. I hope that my inner thoughts and feelings can help someone else on their journey with Christ. Here was some of my thoughts from a personal study a few days ago..."I have been feeling as though very few impactful things have been happening in my life since I returned from my mission. I want to follow the Lord's will and I want more than anything to be married... but How am I ever to do that If I am not allowing my high expectations to increase?How am I to continue to have a rock solid foundation if I am not feeding it? I need to find the time to read more than a few verses of scripture a day. I spent 18 months studying extensively... that is all for nothing if I don't continue to do so now. I know that life will find more meaning as I continue to put the Lord first. I need to hold myself accountable and start making goals/expectations for myself. This is NOT the time for me to slack up. I prayed to have my questions answered through General Conference and they were! (LDS church meeting that happens 2 times a year. Learn more here: https://www.lds.org/general-conference?lang=eng) L. Whitney Clayton talked in conference about choosing to believe. Each week that I partake of the sacrament (communion) I am CHOOSING to believe. That is the most important use of my agency I can ever have. This choice cannot be idle though. President Uctchdorf of the First Presidency had a talk about two brothers jumping off a cliff into a pool of water. One was getting scared and the other said: "Brother I'm Committed"... and jumped. If we follow the council in Joshua 24:15 ad we "choose" to follow Christ we must choose NOW to be commuted to continue to be a truth seeker, a light seeker. I choose today and everyday to believe. I choose today to try each day to increase my testimony and to stand as a daughter of my Father in Heaven. I choose... to Believe. "
Thanks for listening...
Jenn
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